Depending on who you talk with, you will be given a variety of strategies and new ways of thinking. They will show you patterns of behavior and practical tips for improving your life and feeling better about your yourself. None of these really matter if you don’t have the proper foundation. So what is that foundation? The REAL YOU, the deep down raw you. The trick is it takes confidence to find that and start live as the real you. Here are some keys to real inner confidence:
Get To Know Your Values
When I studying to become a coach, Values became a big passion of mine. I realized that most of my values were based in fear, and not consciously. I went on a quest to learn what those conscious-based values were. Fear-based Values have a place, but your reaction is quite different to a fear based one vs a conscious based one.
Knowing what your values are is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. You will hear say often, that you must live in integrity with yourself. How will you do that if you don’t know what your values. It is the core of who you are, the building blocks, foundations and cornerstones for your life.
Why do some people or situations leave you feeling certain emotions, such as angry, frustrated or deflated. It is most likely that the person or situations is denying your values. The opposite is true when a person or situation makes you feel really alive. These are the times when your values are tryly being honored.
These values are yours and yours alone. No one can them from you, no matter what happens. You can get to know what your values, you can start making choices to align your life with these values. It is an amazing feeling to living in the world as YOU.
Exercise the Confidence Muscle
Confidence is a muscle, and like any muscle you need to exercise it so that it doesn’t shrink and waste away. The problem is that unlike your biceps or glutes, which tend to stay in the same place, your confidence muscle can be harder to find. How do you develop your biceps or firm up your glutes? By doing exercises that are designed to work that muscle over a period of time until you see the results you were looking for.
It’s just the same with confidence. Do you take many risks? If your answer is not really, I get things done and I do it well. You aren’t really working that confidence muscle. You might be the kind of person who talks themselves out of doing something because it is too scary. So you live within what you know and keeps you comfortable and safe. The fewer the risk, the less confidence is needed, and the less confident you are when stepping out in life.
How does one work your confidence muscle? Be prepared to take risks – big or small. Stretch in an unfamiliar direction. Try something new. Try something in a different way. Open yourself up to the possibilities around. Increase what you know, what you do and who you are. The more you open yourself up to risk, the more confident you will need to be, and the more confident you will become.
The question is, what are you going to do to exercise it?”